Differences.

Things that are different about North Carolina (Durham in particular):

1. Everybody wears khakis and skirts to church. It’s just how I remember it being in Arkansas. These crazy southerners. Don’t worry though, Dave and I still represent with our denim.

2. There are roundabouts everywhere which on the one hand is fun for me as it reminds me of England, but on the other is not so fun because people here do NOT know what the rules are. It makes me so mad. What part of yield to the left do people not understand??

3. The roads and roadsigns are terribly confusing. It’s very frustrating for people who don’t know where they’re going half of the time.

3. Fall is beautiful. Or should I say, fall exists. Our backyard is now covered with a thick layer of red leaves. You can’t even see the grass, and they’re still falling.

4. People are nice. Very nice. Almost so nice that I start to get suspicious. This is most obvious at the grocery store. Yesterday a woman saw me putting a box of soup in my cart and she practically grabbed my hand and led me to another isle where there were coupons for a dollar off the soup. It was really nice of her but I must admit, I kept wondering if she got some kind of deal out of the referral! The last time I was shopping there I got trapped in a 15 minute conversation with a 60 year old woman about why the brand name of condensed milk cost so much more than the Kroger brand when the ingredients were exactly the same. She seemed to be appalled at this and I pretended to be equally so (as you do in a conversation like this with a stranger) so we both threw the Kroger brand can in our shopping carts in silent protest and shuffled away with our heads held high feeing like we’d beaten the system. I waited until she had disappeared around the corner and then swooped back to switch it for the Nestle brand because I just can’t settle when it comes to baking ingredients.

5. Apparently they take child care seriously here. Who knew. To do the job that I was doing back in Texas (a Lead preschool teacher) I would have to get licensed here. Obviously this is a much better system as there is a higher chance of people actually knowing what they are doing when caring for children for nine hours a day. But it kinda makes you wonder about Texas… and the quality of childcare workers and childcare centers. Because Lord knows there were some crazies where I used to work. The problem is that the world is in such desperate need of preschool teachers because nobody wants to do it. The center where I worked had such a high turnover rate that the interviews were a joke. Merely for the sake of formality. Thinking back now, my interview consisted of one question: “What is the first thing you should do with a class of children when you’ve transitioned from one place to another?” The answer, which I got right, is count the children. However, I can say with confidence that if I had said something like “make each kid punch another one as hard as they can”, it would have been morphed into the correct answer by the interviewer. “So what you’re saying is you would count the number of punches and figure out how many kids there are?”. “Exactly!”.

All that to say, we are liking it here very much but it is funny when we encounter these differences. Just thought I’d share what I’ve been experiencing in this part of the Old South.

Memories and muffins.

Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my granddad’s passing. I thought about my mum a lot as I know she was missing her mum and sisters back in England. I also thought about all of the happy memories I have from the ten years that I knew Nic-nic.

He was such a special man, and he spoiled his grandkids like there was no tomorrow. I always looked forward to our trips to the north of England to see him and Gran. We lived less than two hours from them but that was a huge journey back then. They lived on a farm in an old farm-house (where my mum grew up). I have vivid memories of playing outside on go-carts, or frolicking in the fields for hours with all of my cousins and running in from the cold wind with rosy cheeks to seek the warmth of the crackling fire. It seemed like Nic-nic always had a grandchild in his lap laughing their heads of as he pulled his fake teeth out and put them back in again. I think the real reason we loved going there so much was that we were given more candy in the week we spent there, than we were for the rest of the year. Nic-nic was always awake first in the mornings before going to work on the farm. Andrew, Jess, and I would arise as early as possible and sneak downstairs before our parents awoke in eager expectation of what we would be given for ‘breakfast’. ”Do you want eggs this morning?” Nic-nic would tease. “Cadbury’s cream eggs???” We were in heaven. But these treats were always accompanied with the warning “Don’t tell your Gran or you’ll have me shot!!!”.

Needless to say, we all miss him. I wish he could have seen all that his family has accomplished and the love that was born out of his love for Gran. Even though he’s been gone for a long time now, the memories I have are as fresh as they were 13 years ago. Because I was a child for the entirety of my relationship with him, these memories are innocent, naive, and almost magical. They are unadulterated by the complicated and harsh reality that comes with adulthood. And I like it that way. In my mind he was a saint. He was perfect. He was Nic-nic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On another note altogether, I thought I would do a recipe post. I baked these pumpkin apple streusel muffins two days ago and they are delicious! So I thought I’d share.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pumpkin Apple Streusel Muffins

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups white sugar
• 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 cups peeled, cored and chopped apple

For the streusel 

• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 4 teaspoons butter

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease 18 muffin cups or use paper liners.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. In a large bowl, sift together 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, 2 cups sugar, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda and salt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. In a separate bowl, mix together eggs, pumpkin and oil.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Add pumpkin mixture to flour mixture; stirring just to moisten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Take the cut up apples and fold them in to the mixture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now for my favorite part! The streusel (which should be a food group all of its own in my opinion):

7. In a small bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons flour, 1/4 cup sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Sprinkle topping evenly over muffin batter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Bake in preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into a muffin comes out clean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10. As soon as they have cooled, take them to the neighbors, or throw them in the freezer. Otherwise you will want to eat them all, they’re highly dangerous ; )

If it ain’t ‘The Wire’…

I have become a huge fan of television over the last few years. The Wire, Deadwood, The Tudors, Big Love, Rome, The West Wing. Watching these shows (among others) have been informative, fulfilling, and enlightening experiences that I am not afraid to say have enhanced my moral, philosophical, and theological sensibilities. That said, there is one show that I have not seen that I hope will be of similar experience to the aforementioned…

I have finally given in to years of resounding endorsements of Battle Star Galactica. I confess that for some reason the show has never seemed appealing to me–the fact that it aired on the Sci-fi network is a turn-off in itself–and that I have been intentionally avoiding the show over the last few years. However, I am leaving all of these prejudices behind and have decided to give it a shot. Tonight I plan on finishing the initial mini-series, and over the Christmas break to plow through the four (right?) seasons.

I am really hoping for a good experience, as the bar has been set very high. If any of you out there (you know who you are) have any hermeneutical tips for viewing the show, I’m all ears.

Hard day. Better night.

We moved here in August. During that month we worked on settling into a new life, a new house, and new routines. I put the house together and explored my new surroundings. About three weeks into August I began the gruesome and soul-killing job search. I spent so much time on Craigslist and the Human Resource page on Duke’s website that my dreams became consumed with them. While Dave was in the midst of his hectic first weeks of Divinity School, I spent my days emailing, calling, and scanning job search engines for any glimpse of hope. I waited for a phone call, an email.. anything to say that somebody out there in this big scary world found my resume or cover letter compelling. Nothing. This went on for a few weeks, and then a month, and then nearly another month. Each day I resumed my search I felt less and less enthusiastic and more and more negative.

Until one day in late September when I was contacted by a family on one of the ‘Find a Nanny’ websites I joined. They sought me out after reading my profile and experience. They had a nine-month old baby and were both Doctors at Duke. The mom and I decided to set up a time to talk on the phone instead of by email to get to know each other better. We talked for over 45 minutes and I was thrilled. The Dad was British, the Mom Indian from South Africa originally, but they had moved from England in ’99 (the same year I came with my family). What a cool coincidence. We laughed and related about the idiosyncrasies of American culture (no offense American friends… and family) and I bragged about my love for children and how they can teach us so much even in their meaningless prattle (exaggeration).  I was so happy when I got off the phone that I had found something that was such an incredible fit! I called Dave bursting with the news.

I went over a week later to meet the family. He was such a sweet little boy with big brown eyes that curiously searched my face for some sign of recognition. The mom was lovely and it just so happened that her mother (the baby’s Grandmother) was staying from South Africa. She ’interviewed’ me, we laughed, we played with the baby, was talked about logistics. They wanted me, I wanted them. It was great. I was full of relief that I had finally put an end to my days in front of the computer desperately searching for something to fill my days and our bank account. I told her my apprehensions about nannying, mainly the blurry line of responsibility and time, and she said that she would draw up a contract.

The only thing was that her mother was due to fly back to South Africa in December. I was due to start working for them the second week in October. That would mean two months with her in the house also. The other thing was that the mom hadn’t actually gone back to work but was waiting to hear when she could go back to her old post at Duke (she’s an oncologist) that she left when she had the baby. She said November she would go back to work and that before that she would go out most days and take her mother with her so that the baby could get used to me.

I start working. A week goes by. Nobody leaves the house while I’m there. We’re all there together. Ok, she’s probably just taking it slow so that he can get used to me and we can all familiarize ourselves with each other. Another week goes by. No one leaves. Throughout the whole month of October I think I fed the child once. ONCE. There is a whole slew of things that I could rant about but I needn’t. Other than to say that I felt like me being there was absolutely pointless, and it was.

A lot of frustration and broken promises later, she tells me that they are not letting her return to her previous post at Duke. She says she’s looking at another position which she interviewed for earlier this week. She told me it may start in January or it may start in July, but they weren’t telling her when. Both later than her promised date of November 1st. So, to this day, I haven’t once been left alone in the house with this child. I haven’t put him to sleep, and I’ve fed him once. Every day I’m there I pray for patience and understanding for why this situation is like this. 

Then, today she told me that the job she interviewed for starts in July, and she doesn’t think she wants to take it, but that she would tell me by the end of the day. To say I was upset would be an understatement. Basically, they don’t need me anymore. But she didn’t say that per se. I feel like I have been dangled by a string. She promised all of these things that she didn’t follow through on. This morning I had that awful heavy feeling in my stomach thinking about paying rent next month. And for our plane tickets back to Austin at Christmas. I told her we needed to talk. I told myself to be honest, and stern, and tell her all of these things to make her realize how utterly messed up this was. But, I did the one thing I told myself not to. I cried. I completly lost it. I felt so incredably maniupulated by it all. I thought about listing off to her all of the frustrations I had, or all of the ways in which she had wronged me. But I felt utterly defeated by it all. Mostly, I felt like I was back to square one. Back to the job search. What I thought was a perfect job, turned out to be far from it. I came home, baked some things for small group, and then curled in a ball in bed. I was confused, and sad, and dreading starting all over with the search.

Then I went to small group tonight with cookies and coffee cake in hand. And people ate and enjoyed them. And they asked me how my day was. And I told them. And their compassionate faces and warm embraces made my burden that little bit lighter. Their prayers made me a bit more hopeful that maybe this door was closed so that another could open. I no longer felt like I was in this alone and needed to be justified, because not only does God know, but these people understand and care. During our time of prayer, someone had a picture of Jesus covering all of the crap that we deal with in our daily lives with a white blanket. He didn’t make it all better or stop it from happening, but he covered it. He was in it. He was with us. And he gave us people to be with us, so that we could feel his love in a tangible way everyday. I feel hopeful that God is with me and has something better in store for me, so I wait, and I look, and I trust.

Halloween with Tchaikovsky

Life here seems to be moving very rapidly. The days go by so quickly. Today marks the beginning of our fourth month here in North Carolina, and we are feeling more and more at home every day. It’s nice to reach the point where the things and people around us no longer feel so unfamiliar and different. Things are becoming usual and somewhat homey as we settle here, and I am glad.

We love that the grass and the trees (that haven’t turned yet) are so lush and green here. Nature’s colors hold a whole new meaning in a place where the land isn’t so scorched and brown. But, with that luxury comes rain, and lots of it. It has rained more days than it hasn’t since we’ve been here. We are slowly but surely getting used to it. The leaves continue to fall constantly and I find myself wondering how there are any left to fall. But there seems to be a perpetual supply. As the days get cooler the colors around us become rich with warmth. The reds have slowly darkened into crimson, and the oranges blaze within a fire of golden yellow. God is beautiful.

We spent last night in Greensboro listening to their symphony orchestra play Tchaikovsky’s 4th Symphony, among other pieces. This particular piece of music is one of Dave’s favorites and was somewhat life changing for him. It means alot to me also, as Dave wrote out the second movement and gave it to me for valentine’s day during our dating years. It really is so beautiful and powerful. I still have it ringing in my ears today.

Dave describes it as: “The first “classical” piece of music that ever grabbed my full attention. After hearing the piece for the first time in an open-to-the-public Houston Symphony rehearsal, I acquired every Tchaikovksy piece I could get my hands on. The 4th Symphony is still my favorite of the great Russian composer. The massive trumpet theme throughout, the overflowing graciousness and endearment of the second movement, the novelty and lightness of the pizzicato ostinato in the third movement, the volatile and explosive finale interlaced with the flowing and expressive motifs; all of this helped clear away any repellent to symphonic music that I had developed over the years, and I have not looked back since.” (Taken from his blog).

It was a very enjoyable evening because we shared a delicious meal beforehand with one of Dave’s classmates and his partner in their beautiful home. They are on the Board of Directors and were hosting the conductor and his wife in their home also. So we had dinner with Dmitry Sitkovetsky’s wife (who is living in London) before the concert. We got to go backstage and meet him after the performance, and to top it all of we even got a photo with him : ) Bryan (our friend from the divinity school) came with us also.

On a funny note, we went to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things yesterday, and completly forgot that it was halloween. We saw a man dressed in all camo with rambo-style bullets hanging around his neck and I freaked out a little. Then a woman dressed as a witch with a Kroger name tag approached us and asked if we needed any help and it all came flooding back. What a funny holiday. Hope you all had a great one!

Haircut.

BEFORE

AFTER

AFTER (back)

AFTER (side)

A Letter. And a humdinger.

Someone in this household got a very important letter in the mail yesterday. This someone was Dave, and the letter read:

Dear David,

I write to advise you that you are now eligible to graduate from the University of St Andrews with the award of Master of Letters Bible and Contemporary World with Distinction in the Dissertation.

Needless to say David is very very happy, and I am very proud of him. We are excited that we will be able to celebrate in style in January when we travel to Boston to hear the US premiere of Macmillan’s St. John Passion, which is the piece that Dave wrote his dissertation on.

On friday night we went to the Classical Theatre of Harlem’s performance of Samuel Beckett’s play Wating for Godot. Another perk of being part of the University community is cheap (usually $5) tickets for performances such as this, when tickets for the general public sell for $25 to $30. I had read the play for a class a few years back so was familiar with it, but this Harlem-based company’s “bracing and immediate” adaptation included such delights as a random cover of Billy Jean, dance moves included. The play itself is kind of depressing with it’s ecclesiastic themes, but poignant all the same, and laden with allegory.

Yesterday we had a very autumnal outing planned with a group of friends for someone’s 30th birthday. We were supposed to go pumpkin picking at a local farm complete with hay rides and maybe even cotton picking. I was pumped to say the least. Then the rain started. And didn’t stop. All day. So we opted for games and food at someone’s house instead. Cranium, which I LOVE, was one of the games we played. Despite my best efforts to enshroud my slight competitiveness in order to not demolish these newly-hatched friendships, I failed, and was found out. But it made for a fun and interesting game, which, might I add, my team won. And to top it all off I was introduced to someone at church the next day by one of these new friends as follows..

“Rachel, this is Hannah. She moved here a few months ago. She’s really competitive. And the best humdinger ever!”

Looks like this might be the start of a reputation in these parts. Oh goodness.

The trees are turning all kinds of awesome colors, it’s so beautiful! And here are some cookies that I made this past week: Pumpkin white chocolate.

Proud to be a Texan.

Last night Stanley Hauerwas was publically interviewed by an Anglican Priest/News Anchorman (weird combination, I know) in the divinity school. I had heard Dr Hauerwas speak in chapel a few weeks ago, which was a great experience as expected. The sermon was on a passage from 1 Corinthians and was fairly straightforward and not particularly controversial. His language was appropriate for a church service and his countenance was that of a minister, not a professor. Last night, however, we were able to get a glimpse of the Hauerwas that has become legendary in theological circles for certain slips of the tongue. Hauerwas the Texan was fully present last night as the interviewer asked him questions pertaining to “being a Christian in today’s world.” Aside from many  typically rich, challenging, profound, and elegant reflections on being a Christian in the modern world were the Hauerwasian one-liners that make Hauerwas the legend that he has come to be. Here are my favorites from last night (please excuse some of the language):

On Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens: “Dawkins and Hitchens simply represent the fact that Christians have become so stupid that they have ceased to give the world anything interesting to think about. It’s not atheism that’s killing the Church, but sentimentality.”

On Christian marriage: “The problem with most sex is that it’s not very intimate…Our spouses get to know us better than we know ourselves, and it just scares the shit out of us.”

On health care reform: “If you live a crappy life there is no reason that you shouldn’t die a crappy death.”

On the recent developments between the Vatican and Anglicans: “I think what Benedict did was absolute shit…They just can’t give up on England. Why they would want England beats the hell out of me”

On the south: “Southern civility is one of the most calculated forms of cruelty I can think of.”

Of course, all of these soundbites were part of much broader and deeply thought-out reflections on the particular issues, but the one-liners are always the fun part. Yet, despite such fun, I was reminded last night just what is at stake when I call myself a Christian and proclaim Jesus as Lord in a world that has no time for God. Here is a passage from Hauerwas that is perhaps more insightful than a mere soundbite:

“Do  I think the truthfulness of Christian witness is compromised when Christians accept the practices of the ‘culture of death’–abortion, suicide, capital punishment, and war? Yes! On every count, the answer is ‘Yes’…Christians betray the grammar of the Christian faith when we try to answer the charge of circularity by divorcing what we believe from the way our beliefs are embedded in the church. In short, I am suggesting that Christians in modernity have lost the ability to answer questions about the truthfulness of what we believe because we have accepted beliefs about the world that presuppose that God does not matter. The problem for Christians and non-Christians alike is the Christian inability to live in a way that enables us to articulate what difference it makes that we are or are not Christian.” -from With the Grain of the Universe

North Carolina State Fair

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Family

     For as long as I can remember I have been interested in family dynamics and human development within the family structure. I could talk for hours on end about relationships throughout the life cycle, the societal development of the family, or birth order. I actually wrote a 15 page paper back in college on that very topic. I took many interesting classes (in the psychology, sociology, and human development departments) on family life and parenting. I often regret majoring in psychology as I gained more of a scientific analysis of brain development and human behavior, as opposed to behavior within the family system which I was more interested in. I did however, take some interesting and thought provoking classes that tended to lean more toward a study of the individual within the system of the family and society as a whole.  

     One of these classes was The Sociology of the Family. What sparked this post was a visit to my old blog (now my baking blog) where I wrote a post about this class. I was in a very different place back then and was somewhat more naive, but I still enjoyed reading how passionate I was about the topic. I still am. In a society where family is taking the backseat to technology and busy schedules, I want so much to help people realize what an intregal part the core family and the surrounding community of people plays in a child’s life.

  Although the Nature/Nurture debate is practically over, we’re pretty sure it’s both : ), both aspects are much more convoluted than we like to think. Think about it; in the nurture camp alone we have influences such as parental attachment, parental style, birth order, sibling spacing, family dynamics as a whole, peer relationships, schooling/education, and the child’s exposure to events and experiences both within and outside of the home. It’s so overwhelming it can almost make you wonder if you’re capable of raising a child into an adult. Almost. All that to say, I love this stuff. And I’m thinking about quenching my thirst by seeking some more education. Maybe. Just maybe.